This is a guide for Christian guys who are still figuring out how to date Christian ladies. Here we cover what to do before the date to better your chances, and what to do during the date to better your chances of a second date (also known in the Christian world as “popping the question”) Best of luck in your dating ventures!
1. Though Shalt Open doors…all of them
Car doors, entry doors, garage doors, revolving doors, every kind of door that you come across needs to be opened by the man, no door is off limits from this guy’s level of chivalry (minus the restroom-leave that one out. I know your mother always told you to open the doors for the ladies, but she forgot to mention that this one may be offensive. Thanks ma’)
2.Thou Shalt have Christian conversation
Topics should include things such as: Discussing each others favorite life verse (Hint if she quotes anything from Proverbs 31 she’s a keeper), what you want to name your future kids (Bible characters work wonders), intended future education plans, future family plans, future financial plans, past family history, criminal record (if applicable) and anything else that is far too personal for a first date but ever so appropriate for a Christian’s first date.
3. Thou shalt Prepare Thy Vehicle
The vehicle should be spotless inside and out–don’t fret, this only has to be done once to be effective. Keeping a Bible in the passenger seat is a subtle way to let her know that you mean BUSINESS. Adding a Jesus Fish
4. Thou shall learn to play acoustic guitar, or at least a couple of chords so you can play the typical worship songs.
There’s a reason that in college you were woken up in the middle of the night and early in the morning AND from your mid-afternoon nap by acoustic guitar playing. There was a reason that you could always, I mean ALWAYS find a guy on your hall playing the acoustic guitar, it didn’t matter if you were in bed, at your desk or in the shower. Someone, somewhere was jamming out. There’s a reason for this. Christian girls dig a guy that can jam out. Bottom line.
5. Thou Shalt Leave room for one “Bible Space” in between each other (enough room for Jesus)
I don’t know who decided that Jesus was the size of a Bible, but I’m going to assume that it was a Christian teen-age guy who wanted to get closer to his date, just not too dangerous.
6. Thou Shalt Spice up ones Facebook profile with “real Christian” style
Said Christian dater cannot settle for a religious views section that reads “Christian”. No, religious views section must be embellished with something that shows that you are so deeply rooted in your theological knowledge and are “like this”(take your hands, put up the number “2″, now cross your pointer and middle finger. Good.) with God that you are far above just simply “Christian”. A nice Christian song lyric, or cliche quote you learned in youth group will be perfect.
**ALSO IMPORTANT** At least one photo album is required that contains nothing but pictures of potential dater dressed in their best Christian date clothes (typical metro-sexual attire is proper). MAKE SURE you are staring off into nothingness, because if you are staring off into nothingness then you MUST be thinking about her. Pictures must be in black and white and/or sepia tone. Color photos just won’t do that scarf that you are certainly wearing any kind of justice. BONUS- 10 extra points if you can snap a photo of you with your Bible/and or little sister(or cousin that you can call your sister) (or random kid at the mall…use caution with this approach, some people aren’t fond of it)
7. Thou Shalt Pay
Come on guys, do I really need to say that? Yeah, I know, I know, but you tithed this week. Sorry, this is a MUST.
8. Thou shalt use “The Christian Side Hug” at the END of the date.
Prior to this no touching should occur except for the initial introduction conversation which should go something like this. Christian male says, “Hi! I’m all for womens rights as long as they submit to their husbands. Gee, what ever happened to chivalry around here?” Christian woman says, “Gee it sure is nice to finally find a guy like you!” Christian male replies, “ I feel like God is telling me that we should go on a date, do you feel like that too?” Christian woman says, “I thought you’d never ask!” Both proceed to high five. No more touching until the side hug.
Well, you’re on your own from here! Typical next steps would include things like: promise rings, engagement rings, “I love you”, and marriage! Don’t wait! These ladies are hard to find!
So what else is there? I want to hear from you all! What are some other must know tips for dating Christian guys OR girls??
*Note: Everything written in this blog post is strictly for humorous purpose. A date is not guaranteed. Also, taking pictures with kids at the mall is not actually recommended, or even legal. DO NOT do this. Creep.
Excellent Cody! I printed this one to MAKE SURE my girls (who aren’t at dating age yet but…..) they still need to see and KNOW that their parents aren’t CRAZY !
I sure do wish you were still a constant role model in their lives!
Ron Luce (Acquire the Fire) recently wrote the best book I think I have read in a long time called Re-Create and He teaches about this very subject. How we as parents raising our kids in this culture today NEED echoes from others like yourself so their words and actions become “echos” of your own.
This way when my kids sees or hears or reads in this case something that we drill into their head as our value system then all of a sudden it becomes more real to them because they see it active and alive in someone’s life like yourself who they admire and respect.
Again, thank you Cody! You are changing the world around you. Read that book Re-Create if you haven’t already! It’s not just for parents raising kids, its about starting a revolution in the lives of young people in churches, homes, communities. It’s about building a culture in the home, church or community (lives of the young people) stronger than the culture deceiving the kids!
Vicki! Thanks so much, you’re such an encouragement! I took a youth ministry class last year and one of Ron Luce’s books was on of our text books! It’s called Battle Cry for a Generation. All of his stuff is so good! I think you know just as well as I do that you and Bo were both huge role models in my life and people that I could look up to! Thank you for that, and thank you that you guys are still doing that everywhere you go!
Wonderful post.
I think tweens should not date at all, and teens up to the age of 19 should go only on “group” dates, not single dates ! That does not mean younger teens aren’t to be trusted to have Godly dating habits and behaviors. It does mean maybe it is a way to help control unhealthy / unChristian thoughts and behaviors.
rw
Am I the only one that catches the sarcasm here?
I think the OP is highlighting the cultural irrelevance of the way we go about interacting with each other. To say that “tweens” shouldn’t date is absurd. We can’t expect to protect the younger generation from experiencing pain and struggles in the realm of “dating.”
I did the awkward Christianese version of dating in college, and I feel like it was not a true representation of who or what I was as a believer. I was following a bunch of man made rules to conform to an irrelevant subculture surrounding me. It was more of a survival move than an actual attempt at getting to know someone.
Well-written, Mr. Jacobs! Very well-written. I smiled from ear-to-ear all the way through, trying not to laugh out loud, because someone close to me is reading!
I’m not sure if I should dive into this, and I’m not trying to debate anyone. I just want to express that I don’t believe teens should date until they’re 16. Even then, to begin with, they need to go on group dates. Parents cannot automatically expect their kids to be trustworthy in situations the kids have never been in before. Some of that trust needs to be earned. That’s part of what the group dates would be for, in my opinion.
Last but certainly not least, I have a request: Cody, will you marry me?
)
Carey Ann, Nick, and Ray, I’m not one to try and agree with everyone to make everyone happy, but on this subject I find points that I actually do agree with you all on. Here’s my take on it.
Should teens date? I don’t think that there is a definite, concrete yes or no for everyone. I don’t believe that truth is relative, but I DO believe that people mature at different rates. Growing up in a Christian high school I actually did have friends that didn’t date. Ever. I personally did date in high school, and I probably dated to young just like most of my friends. Do I regret it? No, of course not. I was taught to learn from my mistakes, and while I did not learn from them at the time or even in high school, I can look back now and see what I did wrong. Can we literally STOP tweens and teens from dating? There’s a good chance that we can’t. We may think we can, and we may think that are children are perfect, but I know the girls and guys that “weren’t allowed” to date. Did their parents think they had succeeded in stopping them from dating? You betcha! Were there parents sadly mistaken? Most of the time. I’ve found that the only way, and the best way in my opinion to make sure that your children are safe and focusing on the right things, is to instill in them good decision making skills. I don’t just mean skills like knowing where to draw the line with their sexual purity or how not to date a dirtbag, but decision making skills like do I really need to date? If your teen can understand that they don’t necessarily need someone, some person in their lives to “complete” them, then you’re set. The kids in high school that didn’t date, because of the decisions that they made themselves were far better off then the kids that didn’t date because they weren’t allowed to. Who’s parents do you think trusted their kids more as they got older? I do agree that kids that are 13 years old should not be going on single dates, that’s almost absurd. Another thing, is maybe limiting where they can go on dates. Movie theaters are probably not a good idea for your 16 or 17 year old to go on a date. However, if your teen can make that decision on their own then they are FAR better off than if you force it upon them. They are FAR more likely to be great decision makers! A good way to get kids realizing this stuff, is to teach it to them BEFORE they get to that age. Now, you are probably wasting your breath teaching your kindergartener about sexual purity, but I personally believe that teaching your 12 or 13 year old about it is wise beyond measure. Parents now may not realize it, but kids are being bombarded by sex and dating pressure even at that age. Parents may also think they the kids won’t understand or that they may corrupt them by talking about these things, but trust me, there’s a good chance they already know, long before you even realize it. So then is teen dating always bad? Absolutely Not! In fact, my RA at Liberty has been dating his fiance for 6 years, he’s 21 now (maybe 22) so needless to say they started dating as teens. They’re happily engaged and getting married in the spring! So I guess the final question is, will I allow my teens to date? Well, I will raise my children to understand their priorities in life and that Christ is their number one priority. I will teach them the pressures of dating and sex, and I will teach them the biblical view of sex and sexual purity. I believe that if I train my children the right way then God will keep His promise and keep them that way. “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6
as a Christian girl, the statements you’ve said in here, i found to be quite humorous. especially the whole , learning guitar. my boyfriend is studying to be a worship leader, so that statement couldn’t be anymore true.
very well done.
i look forward to reading more from you!
Brittney.
Hey Britney, thanks for reading and I’m glad you liked it!
If you want to read more, just make sure to subscribe and you’ll get an email whenever there’s a new post! 
My post contained NO sarcasm. “Tweens” do not need to date.
Dating should be nothing more than folks of the opposite plumbing getting to know something about the other sex in terms of what they like/appreciate and what they do not like/appreciate. Dates are not occasions for comparing anatomy with one another. In fact, Elizabeth Elliot says even young adults dating should not hold hands / touch. It breeds “familiar” thoughts. I believe she said she and Jim Elliot did not even hold hands until after they were engaged.
Dating certainly should never lead to sexual intimacy before marriage. Dating is to get to know the op sex intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, not for any other purpose.
Talk about “safe sex,” if you never have sexual intercourse before your marriage night, the chances you are going to contract an STD, or generate a pregnancy, is about zero.
Group dates usually discourage dating sex. Eighteen is old enough for one on one dating. Dating is not finding someone with whom you can “go steady.” That is NOT the purpose of “dating.” Dating is two people learning about the op sex through developing non-exclusive relationships, as many as possible, during the years from 13 to young adulthood. It is for getting to know as many different kinds of op sex personalities as possible during those years from 13 years of age and up, to let you decide/determine what you like and what you do not like in another person.
Dating relationships are superficial, to be sure, but dating is not mating. Mating is for marriage !
“Serious” dating can evolve between ages 18 and 25. It takes that long for a persons brain to fully develop materially. (That’s why a guy’s car insurance rates go down when he turns 25, not 24, not 23, not 22, not 21 !
Serious relationships will wait until the two persons are competent to enter into serious relationships, emotionally. intellectually, spiritually, psychologically.
All others end up on MAURY and Jerry Springer shows. You want a better “relationship” than that one hopes !
Cody,
Your thoughts are far more on target than mine, so I yield to your fine reasoning. My reasoning is too arbitrary but well meant none the less. I just hate to see a girl get stuck on one guy at age 14 and not dating anyone else until she and her boyfriend break up at age 19. She is bound to feel lost, and so may her guy. That is why I advocate dating as many different others as possible instead of making some kind of too early commitment to one person at a too early age.
rw
Ray, I can easily see where you’re going with that. I guess that again goes back to making sure they understand that they don’t need someone else to “complete” them. I hate when I see that happen!
[...] Quite Amusing. Filed under: Uncategorized — 1henry @ 12:59 am Checker it out. “The Definitive Guide To Dating Christian Girls“ [...]
These rules sound familiar
ladies, chivalry is not dead! This fine young man is living, breathing proof!
Thanks, This is great & just what i’ve been looking for. Thanks alot…
Cody, what if I’m already married – will the whole guitar thing work with my wife?
Gerard, you’re so smooth I don’t even think you’ll need to do that, BUT yes, yes it will. The guitar thing is fail proof. Works every time
That was very good son! I’m proud of you!
This is GREAT. LOL.
Haha glad you like it! Awesome blog by the way! Looking forward to reading more of it!
Cody,
As a 17-year-old Christian guy I totally appreciate all these things. I loved the humor and sarcasm in the post. At the same time, I also liked the few rules that are serious. Like, paying, opening doors, side hugs. I’ve been on a few dates since being in high school and I really wish I’d had these rules when I went on my first date. In fact, I’ve gone on a third or fourth date with a girl and she’s been a little too into going beyond the side hug. In fact, she wanted to kiss very passionately. Looking back I do wish I hadn’t. But I do know that God makes a plan for everyone; and without that experience I wouldn’t be the same kid. And I like who I am. But I do now have set rules, because of that entire experience. Side hugs are at the top. I know as teenage guys we often think we want to get as physical as possible, but it’s not the truth. Just from kissing that girl I became attached, and it did not work out. That can all be avoided by not being too physical and waiting until it’s right to even kiss. Many people think now-a-days that kissing is nothing, but in fact it’s a very special thing. You are sharing a moment with someone and in a strange ways it’s intimate. I challenge all Christian males to take your advice! It’s smart, and their future wife will appreciate it! Thanks again, keep up your amazing work for God.
Evan, thanks for the comment man, and you’re right, chivalry is not dead my friend! Thanks so much for posting this because people can read this and learn from your experience as well!
Agreed also with the whole teens (or anyone) needs someone to be complete. I look at it this way. God can feel two voids. His void and the relationship void. A girl can only feel one of those. Why settle?
Cody!! You’re a genius!!! I love this!! I love your STYLE!!!
I haven’t read all the comments, so if no one else has mentioned this, definietly include “thou shalt meet and respect the parents.” I don’t know about other girls, but for me, if there’s one guy who’s trying to be all smooth and charming talking to me, he’s not going to impress as much as the guy who has the confidence to introduce himself to my mom.
But, yes, you’re right on with the acoustic guitar thing.
Check out my blog at http://www.cip31.wordpress.com
Wowzers! As a single Christian lady I find this offensive, no but seriously this is hilarious
You added me on twitter, so I thought I’d check out your site.
This is pretty funny, a little true and VERY Liberty-esque.
Funniest one: “Bible Space” Enough room for Jesus.
That was straight comedy.
Cody, in a world of sin. This is a great guide.
Um…This IS a joke, isn’t it??
Haha yes it is, note the last little section of the post
Strictly sarcasm and humor 
Oh thank God LOL, I was worried there for a minute. Didn’t notice the disclaimer, *slaps forehead.*
This is amazing. me and my roommate laughed hysterically.
Haha I’m glad you and your roommate liked it
you must go to a Christian college where this is all sooo typical
I’m starting to really enjoy your humor. This is a great blog, keep it up!
You did miss one…
Thou Shalt Comment on the Loveliness of Thy Date’s Shoes. That way your date knows you are focusing on the ground and not other parts of the anatomy and thereby proving to be an excellent candidate for #5.
Also, apparently it’s important for girl’s to be told the shoes were a good pick…Mom forgot to mention that during Fashion Week when I was 15.
Cody, this is ridiculously funny. Your sarcasm on some of these are brilliant. I would like to say that I agree with you on your comments about teen dating. teach a child discernment and they will know what to do when they get older. They will always remember what, as a parent, one says to them. They will learn to take into account what it is God wants for them.